Toxic Positivity: “Your Best”
Although this may seem contradictory, one must understand the complexities of self-acceptance when cultivating a healthy mindset. The assumption of doing your best is usually tied to this unrealistic idea of overachieving every day. Also, there is another unhealthy assumption that there is consistent confidence when showing up for yourself. These aspects are untrue and add to toxic positivity, which will only hold you back.
What Is Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity invalidates an emotion that seems to get in the way or slows achieving goals. By forcing yourself out of feeling certain emotions, it will only create more baggage when dealing with hardships. An example of this is dismissive language like “crying won’t change anything,” “smile through it,” or “other people have it worse.”
Dismissing the emotion instead of working through it and meeting it with empathy doesn’t make it go away. Instead, it will add to triggers and be more confusing to work through because there will be new and old emotions that haven’t been processed. What must be done to address toxic positivity if this is the case?
How To Address Toxic Positivity
Empathy. Instead of dismissing and invalidating feelings that are difficult to understand or feel. Working through these emotions with empathy is the most efficient way to relieve those feelings. An essential component of the heart is being present and looking at aspects within your control.
Becoming resourceful and flexible are essential skills to master for a healthy mindset. Doing so builds an understanding that not having control over certain things doesn’t make you accountable for “negative” outcomes. Additionally, if what you cannot control will inevitably affect you, recognizing how to leverage what you can control is essential.
How To Address Feelings of Failure
The most straightforward answer is to understand that “no” or not achieving certain things despite honest efforts may be a sign of realigning. Often, it’s easy to associate an identity with what you accomplish, what you do, and whom you associate with. The truth is that none of those things identify who you are. Therefore, when dealing with failures in those areas, it shouldn’t be internalized in a personal manner.
Determining a solid sense of self is vital to creating a career and world that balances aspects of your skill and passion. If you need help building a skill, change your technique. Be honest and ask yourself if you are being consistent. Have you done the most that you could have to make this skill? If you find yourself uninterested or hesitant, is it because you don’t enjoy it or are afraid of being your best? With this perspective, failure does not exist. It’s simply realignment to your authenticity, which should never be compromised in the first place.
Another way to address failure is by leveraging the need to compare. If you are going to compare yourself, at least compare yourself to public figures that are successful and also met failures. Specifically, public figures or successful entrepreneurs that took a long time or had a late start in their endeavours. The ability to compare creates a healthier perspective on consistency and goals. Doing so will enhance a healthier mindset on time, understanding success and consistency.
Conclusion
Toxic positivity requires a rewiring of thought processes and a broadened perspective. These traits are typically rooted in being in the present and a healthy balance of feeling your emotions while finding validating active solutions. A healthy mindset creates a healthy routine of analyzing, fishing and acting in healthy habits. As a result, these actions will rewire your way of thinking and help build better habits.
